Diving In....

My baby girl just turned 29 and to celebrate her birthday she went diving off the coast of Catalina Island. She and her husband Mike earned their certification about a month ago after taking dive classes all summer. Many years ago I tried to get mine but found out I couldn’t clear my sinuses below 15 feet (big disappointment), so I stick to snorkeling now. I worry about her because so much could go wrong and it is impossible to turn the Mommy gene off, but I do understand why she does it. I’m even a little envious. Last year she swam with the dolphins and this year she was one, what will she come up with next year. It was her little girl dream to be a  mermaid, I think it came true.  She took an underwater camera with her and this is what she saw.

This is my baby girl……. recognize her. I wrote “Little Girl of Two” about her…….who knew? Wave hello to the nice folks ‘80.

She was always fond of blowing bubbles. That tether rope doesn’t look too good. I’m going to have to talk to the Captain about that.

Add a little lemon and garlic and you have a good lunch

OH NO! Bad fishy! If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times don’t. play. with. the. Moray. eel. Scary!

A wonderful birthday but now it is time to head to the surface before mom has a stroke

Wave goodbye to the nice folks ‘80. You too Mike.

She wants to learn to skydive next. I may not survive…..

Selfless - a psychological tripwire by Roy Stannard

                                                                                                    

 

Colm was a generous man. He had been brought up to believe that the more he gave, the more he would be rewarded later in life or in the life after. As a child he had shared his toys with his friends at school, unselfishly. He had lent his things to people he hardly knew and often they didn’t come back. He didn’t mind. It was good to be generous and he was always popular with the children around him who loved to come and play with his things.

When Colm had money given to him by his parents, he made a point of sharing it with his friends too. It seemed right to share his good fortune. The money wasn’t his, it had been given to him so he could help make the world a happier place. Soon the young boy was surrounded by fair weather friends who loved to be in his company for as long as he had wealth to share.

In fact, they became accustomed to going to Colm’s house where they shared his money, his games, his books and anything else they could lay their hands on.  He felt obliged to find new ways of supporting this generosity and went out to work early in the morning, every morning, delivering newspapers in order to continue to have the money that people loved to share.

His parents wondered about the number of friends their son had and worreid about the size of the presents he asked them for when his birthday arrived, and after that, Christmas. But they agreed to give him what he asked for because they wanted their son to be happy.

For a while he was happy. He was the centre of attention and always seemed to have lots of people around him telling him a wonderful person he was. His friends clapped him on the back and agreed that he was a good fellow whilst keeping one hand free to take the gifts that he insisted on pressing on them.

In his teenage years, Colm continued to fund friendship with generosity. He took up smoking in order to be able to share cigarettes. He took up drinking in order to be the first to the bar. He took up driving at seventeen in order to be able to give people lifts. He shared his first girlfriend with his best friend, whoever that was. At eighteen, he shared his identity so that his friends could buy alcohol at the local supermarket. At College he made his essay answers available for those in his group who had forgotten to meet deadlines. He lent all his money to people who were good at crying.

When Colm got his first job he quickly became the man people went to in order to get new supplies of stationery, to borrow a mug from, to sign in for if they were late back from lunch. He was the first person the Boss went to if he wanted someone to work late, to come in at weekends, to meet the impossible deadline. He had an inexhaustible supply of jokes and sent more office emails than any one else.

When Colm met his wife he promised her the biggest and best honeymoon and a couple of friends came along too. Later, when they had kids, he came home every evening from work with a present for them. Soon they expected this to happen and pursed their lips if he came home empty-handed.  His wife loved wearing his presents and loved finding catalogues to enable him to indulge his generosity still further. His parties were the talk of the town and people said that you could make a whole new circle of friends at each one. Colm sometimes wondered who these strangers were in his house, but they smiled at him and clapped him on the back, looking for all the world as if they loved him.

The newspapers covered his spectacular parties and the gossip columns buzzed with what happened amongst the people who attended. Strangely, Colm did not appear in the pictures and his name was rarely mentioned.  In the rare photograph that included him, he looked like a waiter, handing someone a drink, always smiling, never being smiled upon.

After paying for the graduation celebration, the wedding and the motor transportation of his children Colm was asked for a divorce by his wife. He agreed and there was a generous settlement.

Soon after, he suffered a serious heart attack and was taken to hospital. There was no-one to go with him. He was asked by the Doctor on duty who he was. He didn’t know how to answer this question because an identity in life is a contract between people with something to share. He had given himself away. Selflessly. To exist in other’s minds he had to first exist in his own.

Have you spent enough time with yourself today?

WORK KILLS - and it f***s up your kids too

It’s no secret that work is bad for your health. Apart from the industrial accidents which maim and kill thousands of people in the UK every year (it’s still far more dangerous to be a brickie than a squadie, it’s just that it doesn’t make the news when one of our brave construction workers die) for which no boss is ever prosecuted, most workers will have to put up with high levels of stress and anxiety which are known to cause heart disease, cancer, depression and neurosis. And still your P60 doesnt carry a government health warning! But recently published research shows that families where both parents work are unwittingly abusing their children.

Research on more than 12,000 British schoolchildren, published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, shows that children whose mothers and fathers work are less healthy than those with at least one stay-at-home parent. Children in families where one parent worked full-time and one worked part-time were still less healthy than those who had at least one full-time parent.

The researchers, from the Institute of Child Health in London, said: “Children whose mothers worked part-time or full-time were more likely to primarily drink sweetened beverages between meals (compared to other beverages), use the television/computer at least two hours daily or be driven to school (rather than walk or cycle) than children whose mothers had never been employed. [sic] Children whose mothers worked full-time were less likely to primarily eat fruit and vegetables between meals (compared to other snacks) or eat three or more portions of fruit daily (compared to two or fewer).”

The researchers called for more support for working families and concluded: “Currently, approximately 60% of women with a child aged five or younger in the UK or USA are employed. For many families the only parent or both parents are working. [sic]This may limit parents’ capacity to provide their children with healthy foods and opportunities for physical activity. Policies and programmes are needed to help support parents and create a health-promoting environment.”

But calling for more ’support for working families’ actually runs contrary to the findings of the report. What we really need is a system where both parents don’t feel that they need to work in order to support a family. What we really need is a social wage which offers more freedom to spend time together as a family. We need equal wages for men and women so that either parent can opt to spend more time with their children. And we need to recognise the fact that child-rearing is the most important job that anyone can do!

In the meantime we choose to put our kids and our health before our bosses every day of the week

Kid or Boss? - the choice is yours!

Ronald McDonald House Charities Project Session on the beach in Coronado

The portrait sessions for my project to support the Ronald McDonald House Charities of San Diego are just about finished for the year.  The next phase will be putting together the book.  I am in the process of selecting the images from each session now.  Here is a session I did recently with an adorable four year old and her big brother on the beach in Coronado.  The late summer afternoon light was just perfect!

With big brother.

Digging in the sand.

Taking a walk.

Playing in front of the Hotel Del Coronado.

Sweet sandy fingers.

And sweet sandy toes.

Her smile says it all.

The sunset was beautiful!

The sun setting behind Pt. Loma.

A glorious end to a beautiful day!

The beach is my favorite place to photograph kids.  They can just be themselves and have a good time while I just observe and capture them while they are relaxed, happy, and engaged in something fun.

SPENDING DETOX: DAY ONE

Our sleeping is all out of wack because of Day Light Savings. We all woke up so late today for the first day of the holidays and Day One of the Spending Detox!

As I mentioned, my girls were not too enthusicastic about my “brilliant” idea! We later had a talk about whether they have ever done something that seemed hard or challenging, but then succeed, and how they felt when they achieved it. I tried to explain that, this week was going to be similar to that. It is something that may seem difficult, but we will feel so good when we achieve our goal. (not too sure what the drama is about, it’s not like I am a spending queen…hehehe)

The kids have been playing so nicely today. The 3 older children have been playing barbies (well, my girls were playing barbies and my boy was using his mobilo and playing with the girls and their barbies) My two year old just pottered around playing with the others, and following me around. She also enjoyed some water play in the sink towards the end of the day.

I started to make a list of things that we could do during the holidays that was free. I even found some free local events that we could attend if we wanted.

We had an early lunch and missed morning tea since we had a late breakfast. As I was cleaning up, I made a note to myself that if we were going to do various activities at home, it would be really important to make sure that we have as much space available. In other words, we all needed to pitch in to keep the benches clean (so that we could bake or do messy play in the kitchen if we wanted to) and keep the family room managable (I’m sure the clean space that was available to the kids this morning fostered their lengthy play there.) So keeping on top of the house is going to be an important challenge this week.

Oh! Another important challenge: to get plenty of sleep. I know when I am tired, I don’t have as much patience and the fun ideas don’t seem to flow.Wasn’t so tired today, so I’m sure that helped me have a good day.

After I cleared the bench etc, I made a batch of playdough. I thought it could come in handy if the kids got bored and came to look for something to do.

The two younger ones played with this, while the older girls continued to play dolls. Later on the older girls came and made all sorts of fun things. DD8 made an apple that opened up to reveal a smiling worm inside…cute!

After hubby came home, I went out with DD6 (darling daughter 6 year old) to go get her free DVD. (I asked my DD6 to write down the order of when people go out and choose their DVD for the day – the perk for her was that she put herself first!)

We didn’t end up watching any TV today. My DS4 asked to watch TV whenever he was bored, I managed to distract him by getting him involved in what I was doing or making some origami or printing him out some cut and paste worksheets that he started getting interested in yesterday.

How do you fill your time during the school holidays? Is it something that you love or dread?

84/365

September 11, 2009. Rennie and the boys arrive in Sandpoint (and I get a new new camera to replace the one that so valiantly gave it’s life in the line of duty as it fell out of my mouth at Burning Man.)

Here there is much contemplation happening as the pond is surveyed. Later Max will explain the myriad ways in which mad actively contributes to the delinquency of small children as it actually makes them go into the pond, especially when they are not supposed to get wet…

Israeli Oscars

Last night I slipped into a little black dress and a pair of heels and made my way to Haifa for Israel’s version of the Oscars: The Ophir Awards.

Attending Israel’s upscale events is always an interesting venture. Because, compared to the U.S., they’re pretty scaled down and lacking pretense. Dress codes don’t rule and most anyone can get away with whatever their personal interpretation of gearing up or down might be.  That includes nominees, as demonstrated here by Best Actor winner Sasha Avshalom Agronov for his role in The Loners. Dig the hat.

Also glaringly absent at these affairs are hulking bodyguards (unless government ministers are present). Sure, there’s security at the entrance but once inside, the press mingles with celebs and it’s a sort of everyone hangs out with everyone free-for-all at the bar and buffet kinda thing.

Which is why I was able to walk straight up to Ajami Producer Mosh Danon, congratulate him on taking best film and wish him luck at the Hollywood Oscars. I grabbed this shot of the film’s Israeli director Yaron Shani as he was being interviewed for radio.  His Arab co-director Scandar Copti was, unfortunately, in Europe.    

I also shook Lebanon film director Samuel Maoz’s hand and congratulated him on his Venice win.  I felt truly sorry that his film didn’t clinch the top seed.  Because imho, the movie based on his personal experience as a soldier during the 1982 Israel incursion into Lebanon, would have been a serious Academy Awards contender for best foreign film.  I’m not sure about Ajami, a story about the crime ridden mixed Arab-Israeli neighborhood of the same name in southern Tel Aviv.   Yes, it’s a microcosm of the Israel-Arab flashpoint conflict at large but it somehow feels too local.

But then, I’ve seen neither  and am basing that rather broad opinion on trailers,  discussions with colleagues and the reception for Lebanon thus far in the world arena.

Here’s a clip.  A reportedly super intense film, it takes place entirely inside an Israeli tank  in Lebanon.  Last night the movie nabbed top honors for Best Supporting Actor, Best Soundtrack, Best Cinematography and Best Design.

A few notes about the ceremony:  The high point was seeing Lifetime Achievement Award recipient Assi Dayan take to the stage.  A legendary Israeli actor and director, he has been plagued by negative press throughout his career for drug abuse, mental instability and domestic violence.  But he is talented.  And his peers gave him a standing ovation.

Heart wrenching, on the other hand, was witnessing producer Uri Segev’s widow and two young children take to the stage to receive an honorary award in his name.  46-year-old Segev died last year of heart complications during the wrap of  Lebanon. The audience, on their feet again, applauded warmly as his wife and children stood at the podium. And there was neery a dry eye in the house as his wife thanked the film academy with broken voice and his 8-year-old daugher sobbed quietly beside her.

A final note to self:  MUST SEE A Matter of Size - a film about a diet club support group that decides to start up their own Sumo Wrestling team.  It looks poignant, funny and visually beautiful.  And Best Actress recipient Irit Kaplan made a distinct impression upon the uber looks-conscious crowd by advising in her acceptance speech that we all go beyond exteriors and start digging deeper to the core where it really counts.

Lacking pretense, indeed.