Tuesday, March 16, 2010
St. Patty's Day Treat #3
Noooo, I'm So Not Ready Yet ....
While we were away in Edinburgh earlier this month, a friend asked me if we’d spoken to William about the “Facts of Life”. I replied in the negative, and she said that we really ought to start thinking about it, particularly erections/wet dreams (eugh!!) and so on. (This particular friend is in the medical profession, and likes to call a spade a spade, so to speak).
After I’d finished choking on my gin and tonic, and protesting ‘but he’s my BABY!’ etc etc and reflected on it a bit further, I decided she was probably right. But how to go about it?
I certainly didn’t fancy the “Right, let’s sit down and talk about the birds and the bees” route, so decided that perhaps the best idea would be to get a book, which he could read in his own time, and tell him that if there was anything in it he’d like to discuss or had any questions about, he could ask either me or his Dad (oh, please let it be his Dad that he goes to – I’m not ready for this yet!)
So, I began to do some research on the internet, on various parenting forums, to try and find a suitable book.
I was pretty horrified by some of the books being recommended by parents as suitable for 10 year old boys: call me old fashioned, but I don’t think my 10 year old really NEEDS to have gay sex, STDs and contraception shoved down his throat quite yet.
Anyway, I eventually settled on the book in the photo above, ordered it, and it arrived yesterday. It is pitched exactly right for William, I think: it’s factual without being frightening, and written in easily accessible language with plenty of cartoon type illustrations. As well as the ‘body’ stuff, it’s got lots of really good info about friendship, school, bullying, personal hygiene, feelings etc.. I was really pleased with it.
I gave it to Will last night, and he took it up to his bedroom and was engrossed for about an hour. The timing was well planned: I had to go out to work at 5.00 pm, so any questions would have to be directed at Dad (mwa hahaha). But none have been forthcoming. Yet.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
That's Not My Chicken
1. Peacocks
2. Hens
3. Pheasants
For Mother’s Day I ordered: A Lie In. A Cup Of Coffee In Bed. A Long Bath. Lunch at the Peacock Playground. And The Man wading in with Son 1 aged 5y 5m and Son 2 aged 2y 6m. He did all right to begin with; after a shaky start when he couldn’t convince them to go downstairs. I was buzzed by each of them separately, but ignored them, and then heard pattering feet and stage-whispers. “You hide there, and I’ll hide here, and then we’ll thrown the cards and shout ‘Happy Mother’s Day.’” Which is what they did, laughing their little heads off. The Man came up with my coffee. The boys gave me a present. The Sunday Times, fresh off the doormat, wrapped in Little Girl Party Paper from the Card Drawer. And I had a Mother’s Day card from The Man, which is also a Good Thing, as in previous years he’d deeply annoyed me with “Why do I need to get a card for you? You’re not my mother.” There was then a bit of a crisis because Son 1 wouldn’t go away. He wanted us all to watch telly together as a family. I wanted to read the paper. He got upset. I compromised. They watched an ancient Fireman Sam video we’d made from CBeebies when Son 1 was about Son 2’s age… I read.
I was in my bath when The Man dumped Son 1 in his bedroom for hitting. Son 1 escaped, and I let him come and sit still on the chair in the bathroom. I heard male voices downstairs. “Daddy’s got a visitor,” I said. “I’ll go and see,” said Son 1. The back door opened and closed. Son 1 bounded upstairs. “You’ve got to come down, there’s a chicken in the kitchen.” “What sort of a chicken?” “A real live one. With feathers.” “What’s it doing there?” “A man’s come to the door because he’s lost a chicken. And we’ve found it.” All right. I was interested. Of course by the time I got downstairs there was no chicken. ”I hope there was a chicken,” I said, “because I have now officially Got Out Of My Mother’s Day Bath.” Yes, said The Man, there had been a chicken. First, there was a card through the door: LOST CHICKEN! IF YOU FIND A HEN IN YOUR BACK YARD PLEASE PHONE XXXXXXXX” Then a Near Neighbout had knocked. One of their chickens was missing. They had put cards round, and then decided as it was supposed to have clipped wings, it really couldn’t have gone very far. Could he please check our yard? Out they went, and there it was, huddled in the back. I didn’t know the Near Neighbours had chickens. And guess what. Now I really, really want some.
The boys weren’t bad at lunch, considering what they’re capable of. The staff were great and brought their hot dogs instantly – this in a self-service place – and cushions for them to sit on. I was instantly worried about Son 2, but I took him for a wee before we ate and he kept everything dry. We’d also been given a table by the sliding doors that open into the Peacock Garden. A beautiful view, good vegetarian food and magnificent service. Only. Every time the doors opened, which was often, one or both boys tried to escape to chase the peacocks. After lunch we went to the Playground. The Man sat at a table with The Big Pram, and I played Hide and Seek. I lifted Son 2 on and off slides, crawled into tunnels, counted and sought and ran and hid. Both boys loved it, giggling, shrieking, squealing. They both had smoothies, and I wanted a pit stop for Son 2, so we tore them away even though they were having a great time. Son 1 and I went off looking for red feathers – the Peacock Playground keeps Golden Pheasants too. Then The Man hissed. Son 2 had done a poo. I cleaned him up and changed him, and we headed on back. Son 2 got through six pairs of trousers and pants today. This isn’t really potty training, it’s more me moving to washables after all this time.
Quick Kids' Quilts by Juju Vali
On Amazon
Title of her book, Quick Kids’ Quilts: Easy-To-Do Projects for New-Borns to Older Children.
This might be something for mothers during their maternal leave. Not that the life with a baby wouldn’t be busy enough, but to create something for your child with your own hands will be appreciated very much. Plus, you are the one deciding the look.
I don’t have children yet, but doing a quilt seems like a good idea. What pictures would be on them? rose flowers for girls and yellow cars for a boy? No! But I will see when time comes.
More details on her book:
128 pages, 1999
- ISBN-10: 1552093506
- ISBN-13: 978-1552093504
You can get it on amazon for example.
Quick Kids’ Quilts: Easy-To-Do Projects for Newborns to Older ChildrenSaturday, March 13, 2010
Meet Aadhya
Today I got the please of taking Aadhya’s pictures. She is just over one week old and she is already a natural in front of the camera. I thank Teena and Dev for letting me into their home for a few hours and sharing their precious little one with me. Congratulations you two!
How to be a Yummy Mummy on Student Loans in an Unfamiliar City. Take #2.
Now that you know what to do with your child (see previous entry) without forking out insane amounts of money, let’s shift our focus a little. We women always tend to put everyone else before us, but in modern society, I feel that a shift of ideals is slowly happening, to the benefit of us mums!
A couple of generations ago, ‘alone time’ probably didn’t even exist in a diligent mother’s vocabulary and the idea of leaving children behind with a babysitter or, so help me, their fathers, was tantamount to blasphemy. Thankfully, this has changed, but somehow mothers seem to sport guilt as a great big accessory whenever they go out and treat themselves. I’m no exception. However, the idea that in order to be good mum you must take care of yourself first is quickly catching on and who knows, perhaps when this century’s over and our great granddaughters are new mothers, this guilt trip will be but a faint memory of times long past.
So what can you do to treat yourself when money isn’t exactly burning a hole in your pocket, and time is limited as well? This is going to take some creativity.
Number 1
Exercise! I’m serious! Exercising stimulates endorphine-production in the brain and you get plenty of time to think for yourself whilst trotting on the treadmill. If treadmills and pumping iron is really not your thing, yoga classes and pilates classes offer a super alternative for the tired mind. Gyms come in all sizes and price categories and I was lucky enough to find a cheap one with brilliant facilities. It even has a sauna. So get prowling, find a gym that suits you and GO THERE.
Number 2
Read books that are not a part of your curriculum at school. Seriously, if you have time to watch TV for 2 hours a day, you have time to read something you WANT to read. If you don’t want to buy books, there are libraries galore. If you feel stuck and really don’t know what to read, ask your friends about what they’ve found interesting and possibly even borrow their books. If you have a slightly out-of-control imagination like I do, you’ll quickly lose yourself in the imaginary world reading a good book creates in your mind.
Number 3
Stream episodes of your favourite series online. Hey, perhaps not stricly ethical, but they’re out there and they’re free. If you really really feel uncomfortable with streaming, you can wait for your local TV stations to pick up the series and watch diligently every week, with your plate of fruits and veggies, which costs about the same as crisps and soda, and much much healthier. Or just treat yourself to crisps and soda if you feel like it. All for the greater good.
Number 4
Knit! I’m serious! Knitting is the latest fad, it’s calming and you actually have something to show for time passing. Besides, it’s an excellent way to fill the gap in your child’s (or your own) wardrobe. Buying the correct sizes of knitting needles is the most expensive part of this new hobby, but when you’ve got your start kit, you’ll be virtually unstoppable. There are recipes galore online, you just need to look for them. Yarn doesn’t have to be expensive and apart from that, knitwear is just so hot right now.
Number 5
Pamper. Pamper, pamper, pamper. Go to your local chemist’s – shops like Matas aren’t that expensive most of the time – and get some facial cremes, masques, nail varnish, nail files, eye-brow colour or whatever floats your boat. Take a long, hot shower and get that skin glowing. Afterwards, you’ll feel energetic and confident and pretty relaxed and you didn’t have to dish out wheelbarrows of cash for a professional to do the same thing you can at home. Going to a professional salon should be a special thing, right, so only go there sporadically and do what you can at home. I’m telling you, life gets so much brighter when you take care of yourself.
Number 6
Don’t underestimate the power of girl time. Sure, you can talk to your partner about most things, but nothing really beats having a really girly heart-to-heart. Even though you don’t have to talk about girly things, girls can just listen to you in a way most guys can’t. Go to a nice café with a girlfriend, order a cup of hot chocolate (normally not terribly expensive, and since you work out all the time it’s no biggie) and just sit there and yap to your heart’s content. If you have a good friend, you’ll end up feeling refreshed and satisfied.
Number 7
Go see a film in the theatre that you wouldn’t see with your boyfriend – or rather, a film that you would feel terribly guilty over making your boyfriend sit through. You can either go with a girlfriend or just on your own! Really, there’s nothing wrong with that. You get to choose the seats, no one is reaching into your bag of popcorn and no one is whispering to you throughout the film. Two hours will just fly by, and add to that, your partner gets to stay at home and spend some quality time with the offsrping, so everybody wins.
Number 8
When I was not mum, I used to love getting into my car and blasting some serious heavy metal music while cruising around. Just because I’m a mum doesn’t mean I can’t do that anymore! Granted, petrol prices are pretty insane right now, and if you don’t feel like wasing fininte resources or if you don’t have a car, charge your mp3 player and get on your bike and just cycle round, listening to your favourite music. It’s so much fun.
Number 9
Find a hobby, like photographing, drawing, painting or writing, and set aside some time during the week to do those things you love. I’ll point out again – if you have time to watch telly for 2 hours a day, you have time to shift your focus to your hobby.
Number 10
Go out with your partner! Find a babysitter that you can pay to take care of your sleeping child every now and again, or ask your friends to babysit for you. Go to a pub, or see a film, or just take a walk, and be a couple for a while. We all know how our relationships seem to suffer with the new adittion of children to the home life, and while those children are welcome and loved to bits, we musn’t forget to nurture the relationship that brought those blessed little pattering feet about to begin with. I know that around this house, everyone’s pretty exhausted during the evening and we tend to just sit there in front of the computer or telly and waste away, but grabbing a deck of cards, a boardgame or just having a conversation is so much better than that and we do feel a difference when we leave technology haning and enjoy each other’s company.
Got anything to add? Let me know! Let your friends know! Let’s take the time to improve our lives, shall we?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
School schedules and spring fever
Sometimes I think it’s harder to be a WAH parent than one working in a traditional workplace. The flexibility in my schedule is both a blessing and curse. While I have a general schedule that I stick to, it seems my children’s school has decided that it needs a good chunk of my time.
Not that I’m complaining. I love their school. It’s been good for both of them and I am completely satisfied with communication with the administration and teachers.
I don’t like the spring schedule. Not the kids’ individual schedules, but the field trips, pep rallies, and assemblies that come with it. It’s almost baseball season, so the local semi-pro team has already announced a couple of education days – free admission for students who perform well on this next report card. The workaholic in me sees this as just another school day, but the mom in me wants to take the day to hang at the ballpark. Despite the kids’ objections that is. I’m supposed to be spoken of, but not seen by their friends I suppose.
The real problem with the schedule conflict is the guilt. Guilt of missing a trip or event vs. the guilt of putting my work aside. I have put the work aside with every intention of completing it within a few days and miscalculated. I have skipped the event only to discover late that the kids really wanted me there. Guilt overload!
But what do you do? I look at the task at hand to guesstimate how much time it would take to finish. (Yes, I said guesstimate. Sue me.) If it is something that I can tackle successfully by putting in an extra hour or two later in the day, I take the time off to spend with the kids. If it requires more intensive attention, I either keep to my schedule or plan to put in late night hours for a while. Is this the ideal solution? It is for me.
My kids are older and don’t always let me know how much it mans to them to see me and/or hubby there for them. The looks on their faces say it all.
What about you? What do you do when faced with the last-minute schedule change?
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