In her book, Parenting, Inc., author Pamela Paul contends (and I agree) that all those battery-operated toys children now play with are robbing them of their sense of creativity and empowerment. She recounts stories of children who look for the batteries in every toy they pick up, or who pick up a stuffed animal and ask: “What does this do?”
It brought to mind a 3-year old I started working with last year. To get him involved with the Sensorial materials, I invited him to play a game. His response? “I don’t like your games. I only like video games.” This, before the child even turned four.
Many parents who try Montessori at home wonder why their child doesn’t show much interest or respect for the materials they so lovingly purchase and create. The answer might lie in this stunning fact: The average child in America gets SEVENTY (70!) new toys each year. According to the book, “the United States, with four percent of the world’s children, consumes 40 percent of the world’s toys.” I can attest to this phenomenon first-hand: a 3-year old child from my fiance’s family spent almost TWO DAYS opening Christmas presents (to my utter amazement and shock). All of her gifts were either plastic cartoon merchandise or flashy and noisy so-called educational toys. While the plastic toys contain phthalates and bisphenol-A (hormonal disruptors) and send inappropriate gender messages (Princess Barbie, anyone?), the flashy toys encourage children to become “passive absorbers” of information, ruthlessly stealing their creativity and fostering impatience and dependence. Suddenly, a small assortment of hand-made toys sounds great, huh?
Paul focuses an entire chapter on “edutainment”, a catch phrase for the so-called educational DVDs (led by Baby Einstein) that have come to substitute the babysitter or the helpful relative. Although the book was written before Disney admitted the products’ shortcomings and offered refunds, it presents a solid case against purchasing the useless – and even harmful – videos. Why harmful? Consider this: According to Paul, the A Day In the Farm DVD has six scene changes in a twenty-second segment. Researchers interviewed for the book argue that “overstimulation is damaging to the developing mind”. They explain that “the brain’s orienting reflex is triggered when a baby hears a strange sight or sound: He can’t help but focus.” When the scene changes rapidly, the new colors, sounds, and movements whiplash a baby’s brain back into the action. This reminds me of friends with babies, who marveled at the videos’ ability to hold their baby’s interest. Well, guess what? They can’t help themselves! Contrary to the manufacturers’ promises, not only are the babies not learning anything useful (since they are programmed by nature to learn through physical interactions, not passive absorption), but their future ability to concentrate is negatively impacted.
Parenting, Inc. also looks at the mushrooming enrichment class industry. Parents spend dozens of hours – and hundreds of dollars – each month shuttling their children to classes that provide the same type of stimulation which previous generations of children got from parents and caregivers, at home, for free. While there’s nothing wrong with a swimming lesson, ballet class, or piano instruction, many children’s schedules are managed more tightly than a CEO’s, leaving little time for riding bikes, going to the park, and being kids. Consider one mom I worked with last year: She sent me a two-page letter outlining her 3-year old daughter’s weekly activities and asking me for my thoughts. She had programmed her child’s entire day in half-hour segments, except for the one-hour formal classes she took daily, which included piano, horse-back riding, tumbling, swimming and art. From the time she came home from Montessori school at noon, the child was herded from one activity to the next, whether she liked it or not. Even her weekends were programmed. Not surprisingly, the child was a nervous wreck and struggled to adapt to the free-choice Montessori environment.
What’s shocking is that this frenetic pace starts soon after the baby is born, with more and more classes being targeted towards infants. One example the book gives is the popular music class for babies. Proponents argue that exposure to music is essential for a child’s proper development and support their claims with the much-hyped Mozart effect theory. Not only has the Mozart effect been discredited by well-founded studies, but what’s wrong with exposing your child to music at home while you fold laundry, saving yourself thousands of dollars a year? Interestingly, the book points out that the only ones who seem to benefit are the mommies, who have a great excuse to get out of the house and meet other new parents. There’s nothing wrong with meeting people in the same boat as you, but if I remember correctly, my mom used to meet her friends in a place designed to truly satisfy children’s needs. We called it “the park”.
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